Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Life Plans/God's Plans

This is one of those times when it would be easier to blog about the "cute" or good stuff in my life. Instead I have the choice of acting like all is well in my world or opening up a little "blaaah" to my blog.
I am slightly disappointed that my plans and God's plans do not line up for my life right now. In my mind I would have already had a fourth child and possibly contemplating the addition of a fifth. Instead, I am on hold until this October before even attempting to try for a new baby. Everywhere I turn someone is having a baby or either just had a baby. My Mama called this morning to inform me my brother's sister-in-law had a baby today; my next door neighbor is expecting her fourth child, MckMama is expecting her fifth child, one of my former students informed me that February will be the month her and her husband begin trying for their first baby.
Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for each one of these people and wish them all the best joy that a new child brings - it's just, I would like to be right there with them. Why is this discontentment ROBBING me of the joy of being with my precious little ones now? How do I prevent this UNREASONABLE despair? I mean, rationally, my plate is full right now. A husband, three kids, church involvement, major vacation planning, plus I enrolled in a mandatory college course for this semester. Talk about ordering your private world, I have a lot to be ordered!
I recently had a relative to share with me some of her struggles in staying in a marriage where her spouse cheated on her. She told me that daily she must saturate herself with scriptures. I'm thinking, I must do the same in order to have peace about God's plans for my life. I realize I will never fully understand the ends and outs of His plans but I do know that He desires a peace in my life. And I am ALL FOR THAT!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

"What do you Blog about?"

Inevitably, due to the close proximity of family over the past few days, the subject of blogging came up. "So, what do you blog about?" and "What is a blog exactly?" and "What's the difference between blogging, facebook, and my space?"
To sum up a lot of my problems within myself, fear would be an appropriate description. I fear what my family thinks of me, I fear what other people (typically those with more money than me) think, I fear how good my relationship with God is. Fear, fear, fear. Today at church I was blessed by a scripture that was placed in our notes. The passage was from the book of Isaiah and part of it read, " Fear not, for I have redeemed you...I am with you" (emphasis added).
Why does it matter what my family thinks about blogging or what anyone thinks about my blogging. I simply see it as a great outlet and deep down, I enjoy reading other people's blogs. It's a nice window into their life. For example, MckMama's blog, I love it. She has recently shared how some people have bashed her for "exploiting" her children and I am shocked. I never perceived her blog as an exploitation. I believe when some people see others successful at something then they automatically start griping.
As to my family, I know that I do not share all of the same opinions and views as them and I worry that at some point there may be a blog that hits a nerve. But I will take that risk and hopefully let my fears go, realizing that each person is unique and one-of-a-kind.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Walking in a Winter Wonderland


Well, today we hit the slopes! Hardly - there are no slopes to hit, but there is 40 acres of farmland. The kids LOVED it! It is so peaceful to see the beautiful flakes flying noiselessly in the air. The pines that surround my parents' place provide a serene backdrop for the snow. I instantly feel I must have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate in hand. Little sounds are made by the ducks, dogs, or cattle but the little ones are full of noise once outside. I believe half the fun was getting everyone bundled up for the cold. We are not one of those families that have matching snow suits, mittens, and boggons. Instead, we look like we have robbed a half-way house and are thrilled with our loot:)

While on the subject of our country ways. May I share with you our mode of transportation? An upside down camper bed attached to the back of a John Deere tractor. Ain't nothin' better than bein' a little bit redneck. Dos and Tres didn't last long in the cold so we headed back in but my nephews stayed out long enough to build a snowman.


I love the snow and am thrilled that the babies have cousins to play with and enjoy:)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Extremely cold weather and snow which is rare for Alabama has drove our family over to my parents' place. In the event that our house lost power, we would have no back up heat. However, my parents have natural gas hook-up, so here we are! Unfortunately the snow, cold, and ice are keeping me from completing my resolution for the day. This will be the first day of the new year that I have not walked my dogs:( In a way I'm kinda relieved that I'm not walking. Bama walks extremely fast and my little legs (I'm only 4'10") do double time to keep up and my shins hurt. I keep forgetting to do a light stretch before the walk.
Due to the temperatures not getting above freezing for the next 48 hours, we may be with my parents for a while. I would love to say that my personality is accepting of whatever personalities surround me but alas I find myself tense and stressed when things do not go my way. Needless to say, I do a lot of praying around family. Understand, the praying is for ME, that I will be kind; that I will be a servant instead of demanding my own way; that I will speak kindly to people I love.
I'll keep you posted on how it turns out:)
-The List Maker

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Earrings and Pigtails

When I was expecting Tres, our only girl, the discussion of earrings came up. Numero Uno felt like she should ask for earrings instead of us having them put in when she was a baby. In my mind I thought she would be around seven or older before making such a request because I was seven when I got earrings. Actually at that age an aunt of mine agreed to pay for the earrings as a birthday gift. Anyway, I want Tres to have earrings I had just settled on the reality of it happening later in life. Well, I should never underestimate the "girliness" of our little girl:) On our way home from church Sunday night this is what I hear:


"I wanna be big wike you Mama."


[Me]: "What dear?"


"I wanna be big wike you and get earwings!"


[Me]: "What? [realization of her comment] Oh, I'm so excited! Yeah!"


[Numero Uno] : "How long have y'all been practicing that line?"


[Me]: "We haven't , I promise but I'm so excited cause now she can have 'earwings'!"

So her Daddy has agreed that once she turns three and can go potty all by herself, she will get some earrings. I can hardly wait.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What is my direction?

Couldn't help but feel the need to express some concern and frustration over what to do with my children. I wonder if I should homeschool them or send them to school? Dos goes two days a week to a wonderful preschool and according to our plans, will move up to the five day K4 program next year. Tres will be joining in the K3 program on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Seeing that Dos is already four, I am floored at how quickly time is passing and wondering if I need to claim these moments by being my children's teacher. BUT I will be honest Tuesdays and Thursdays are nice. On Tuesdays I do what Flylady calls a "Home Blessing" and on Thursdays Little Miss and me go to a local MOMS group then off to buy groceries. Time flies and I am thankful for what I am able to accomplish. But what if I'm wrong? What if I look back on life and regret that I didn't teach my children? Am I capable of teaching them? I had them all to myself yesterday and by the time Numero Uno came through the door I was needing a "smoke break" and I don't even smoke!
So, what do you think? What is my direction?

Red Light...Green Light



In keeping with one of my children's favorite games, I am often feeling that stop then go then stop feeling. If you could have seen me just two days ago you would be privy to the "Red Light" moments of my life. I battle with an obsession to have more children and on the months that I think there is a possibility to be pregnant I am a lunatic obsessing on whether or not a pregnancy test will be positive. Again, the results for this month are a negative and my emotions were LOW. If I could have found a deep hole to be buried in and given the chance to sleep, I would have. Give me 24 hours and I'm fine again. It's crazy. I had difficulty getting pregnant with Dos but once a procedure was done there was no problem. Then Tres came along when Dos was only 20 months old. I assumed having another child would be just that easy. Well with the family going on its first ever trip to Disney World in October 2010 all planning of more babies is put on hold until after the trip. This means that IF I were to get pregnant after the trip then Tres and this next baby would be 4 years apart! To say I am disappointed and frustrated would be accurate. Please understand, I realize that my life is really great and I am blessed beyond words. I just thought things would play out differently than they have but then again isn't that life in general?

On to more fun topics...pictures of my babies! Numero Uno's parents were gracious enough to allow us to use their camper and stay in Gatlinburg last week. Uno wasn't able to go with us but we still had an enjoyable time. The weather was cold but the sky on Tuesday was crystal clear and a beautiful blue. We went up into the Smoky Mountain National Park and the kids had a blast when we stopped at a nature trail to let them play in the snow! I absolutely enjoy nature trails and historical sites and playing with the "Tourist Attraction" site on our GPS so I plugged into Arch Rock and that is where we headed. Unfortunately the cold, snow, and ice kept us from going all the way to the rock but it didn't matter cause the kids were content with just the snow. A quaint little foot bridge took us over the river. The bridge had a lot of ice on it so we had to hold on tight to Little Missy:) I thought the pictures turned out cute.
That night we were able to walk around downtown Gatlinburg and do some of our usual favorite things like stop by the Ole Smoky Candy Shoppe and watch taffy being made even though I can not stand the taste of taffy. The kids loved it! There's also a store called Kilwin's that I enjoy stopping by. They make fudge in front of you and it is fun to watch the maker's steady hands move with little thought as to what actions are being performed since they are second nature. Just about as exciting as the shops are to me, so are the people. I'm not sure why but there is always a ton of foreigners in Gatlinburg. You hear the noise of the cars driving by, salesmen shouting out their deals, and many, many different languages being spoken at the same time. I grew up in the Smokies so I've never understood the draw to Gatlinburg and when I lived there rarely did I ever go. Now that I live in Alabama, I've been to Gatlinburg more than ever:) My BFF hooked me up with a great website that offers vacation deals to Gatlinburg for half price so we are heading back in February. Check out http://cmkxs.yourmainstreetdeals.com/index.php?index_type=home I was thankful for the opportunity to go last week because all the Christmas lights were still up. Well, off to a new day!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Order! Order in My Life!

Of course someone with the title of List Maker is definitely going to have some thoughts on the New Year. An innate part of me begs to make resolutions; however, as a majority of people, they are rarely kept. Armed with that knowledge at the end of December I began to ponder what resolutions I would like to make. The usual ran through my mind: lose 20 pounds, keep a cleaner house, teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, blah, blah, blah... But I decided on one, ONE simple task to stick with for the entire year. I will walk my dogs for 15 minutes a day. Genius! It's simple, it's exercise, and it will be great for my dogs!

I should interject here some info about my dogs. We have two dogs and three kids and some days this feels like an insane decision on mine and Numero Uno's part but everyone seems happy. Maybelle is our house dog. She is a tri-colored Malti-Zhu. Weighing in at 7 pounds she is not a big threat but sometimes acts like she can take on the world. Her coat is as soft as a bunny rabbit and her personality is perfect for small children. The kids can torture her and she makes no effort to harm them. Our outside dog, Bama (given a true Alabama fan name right up there next to Bear and Bryant) is an 80 pound yellow lab and is as dumb as an ox! But we love him even down to his hole-digging, firewood-chewing ways.

Back to my one resolution - I can do this. According to one my favorites, Flylady, "You can do anything for 15 minutes". Naturally, as I determined to keep this one resolution I began to think of others I should add: 2. Read the Bible for 15 minutes a day and 3. Blog for 15 minutes a day. Now on paper these three things combined would only total 45 minutes but in reality would probably take close to an hour and a half. Knowing my ability to fail I am unwilling to add the final two to my resolution list for 2010, but in wanting order in my life, I may add them. All three would be good for me but I am in need of knowing how to bring order and making more requirements for me may not be the best way to bring order to my life.

Well I am three minutes past the 15 minute mark on blogging so I have gotta go and make a list of things to do for my day. What are your resolutions? Let me know, I might want to add them to my list:)

-The List Maker

About Me

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I'm a thirty-three year old stay-at-home mom to four beautiful children. I am daily learning what it means to be a Christian who loves God.