Gearing Up

Okay, I'm sitting on ready making my final list of what to purchase tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I do not have a sitter for tomorrow but I do have a plan.  Early in the morning while Numero Uno and kiddies are asleep I'm hitting the Target sale then later in the day I'm taking kiddies with me to Wal-Mart.  Yes, that will be insane but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.  This trip will not be for the faint of heart:)  (Note to self: pack plenty of snacks)

So, I have purchased 21 gifts so far and I've done the count on how much I have spent thus far: $207.  I'm pretty pumped about that number considering 18 of the gifts I have left to purchase are little goody bags for Dos and Tres' classmates.  Plus I am making food treats for church and school teachers so a lot of my expensive gifts have already been purchased! 

By the way, thanks to my BFF I have found a good deal on Crabtree & Evelyn lotion.  I got five lotions for a little under $6 a piece that includes tax and shipping.  If you use it, enter promo code ebday1110.  Now I noticed that after I entered the code it said for November birthday.  Well I don't have a November birthday but somehow the code is out there floating around so I hope Crabtree & Evelyn doesn't mind that I used it:)  Shout out to my BFF for hooking me up!

My Mourning into Dancing

So, I have recently discovered I have PCOS.  I think overall if I do what I'm supposed to do then this will not be a big deal.  I believe the low down is all of my important hormone levels are off plus I am insulin resistant.  I am on medicine for the insulin and trying to lose weight.  There's the rub!  I'm always trying to lose weight.  The doctor says the medicine may help me. 

Anyway I have been feeling pretty low lately.  Like something is "off" in my spirit.  Feelings like I am doing the same things over and over, making the same mistakes, having the same results.  I have a subscription to Whole Living magazine and although a lot of its focus is on "mindfulness" which tends to lend itself to Buddhism, I can find the usefulness of applying it to my Christian beliefs.  The articles do have truth in them although they are slightly misdirected.  Plus the articles that are like this are limited.  Couple the magazine reads with this Thanksgiving season and I have purposely tried to surround myself with a mindfulness of gratitude to God.  A friend of mine and I like to swap magazines and she gives me Home Life.  At first I wasn't a fan of the read; however, the more I get them the better the biblical advice coming to me.  Last night, me and the kids learned the memory verse, "You've turned my mourning into dancing..."  Shifting my purposeful focus on God has helped me feel better.  Admittedly I have not focused a lot of attention on God lately because I felt like He would be too invasive in my life but I'm finding out over and over, I need Him.  I need Him.

Today is a new day, a holiday weekend.  So much hope and promise and I am excited about the time with family.

I Would Like To Think...

I would like to think that I am one of those moms that has it pretty much together.  I don't beat the kids, I'm not a hoarder, I spend daily one on one time with each of my kids.  I would like to think I'm doing okay.  Don't get me wrong, I do not simply want to do "okay" I want to excel but today I will settle for "okay".  My comfort lies in the fact that I can look at numerous other blogs written by mamas and their last post dates are similar to mine:  "4 weeks ago"; "2 months ago"; "13 days ago"; etc.  My list get so crazy - especially here lately - that blogging daily goes to the bottom. 

Let us take a moment to laugh at my attempts at weight loss.  Ha, ha, ha!  Yes, I would like to lose weight but more in the sense of it falling off my body without any effort on my part.  Guess the weight loss issue for now will live to die another day. 

The 2nd Annual Holiday Auction is over with for another year - yay!  And it was a success:)  Now comes the hard part: the follow through.  Now I have to get everything wrapped up before I move on to whatever is next on my "list".  I hate endings, much prefer the beginnings.  Aaahh, if one would like to pause and ponder that revelation you would have a window to A LOT of my issues. 

Would you like to know our crazy weekend?  We spent 10 hours on the road Friday to go to Auburn, AL which is a 3 hour drive, stayed the weekend, and spent 7 hours on the return trip Sunday which was to be a 3 hour drive.  On Sunday we sat in our vehicle for 4 and half hours only 12 miles from our home due to a truck fire.  Upon getting off at our exit we got a phone call from Numero Uno's mother informing us that Tres was sick.  Crazy weekend!  However, I still enjoyed it.  We took Uno to Auburn's homecoming game.  Although we are not Auburn fans (Uno is our only fan), we enjoyed every minute of it.  We couldn't even remember the last time we just spent time with just the three of us.  It will be a treasured memory for a LONG time. 

Day 3 - Crash and Burn

You guessed it - I failed miserably today. 
It all started at lunch time.  I went to my gynecologist today, my yearly check-up.  I had spoke with Numero Uno before about wanting to ask the doctor about why I have not gotten pregnant over the last three years since we don't do birth control.  I felt like me even asking that was pretty self-explanatory: I want to have another child.  He said yes ask about what's going on.  So today I asked the doctor and he wants to do lab work.  I relayed the message to Numero Uno and his response was not what I wanted.  He turned into a man.  He said he was happy with the age our kids are now and really didn't want to have anymore children.  My heart was crushed.  I found my comfort in the bottom of a Jack's fast food bag along with a tall Dr. Pepper.  That was just the start.  Two fun size Butterfingers, a Grapico, and three cookies later, my diet is not detoxed.
Numero Uno and I will resolve this issue, life will go on, we will be fine.  The unpleasant reality is we differ on something I hold dear to my heart.  He has since told me he would agree to one more.  My heart did not soar since I felt like we were reaching a business agreement instead of loving decisions to expand our family. 
Life will go on.  Tomorrow is Day 4.  I will start again.

Day 1 and 2

I can easily describe my first two days of weight loss:  ill, ill, and more ill.  I get so mad when I'm losing weight.  I realize I am doing my body good and that I will reap the benefits but all my mind hears is "yada, yada, yada." 
For today I had a small cup of coffee with cream but did not put my teaspoon of sugar in it.  I did have a small piece of cake at my son's b-day party today.  However, I was proud of myself for not saving a portion of the cake batter and eat it while the remaining batter baked.  Yay me!  Small victory.  I also chose to drink water instead of Grapico or tea like everyone else.  Yes, I am trying to make myself feel better for not being able to eat whatever I wanted. 

Committed

I'm about to make a statement that I DO NOT want to make - I am committing to losing weight for the next 28 days.  There I said it.  It's out in the open, if I turn back now I will look like a fool.  I actually found myself praying, "Lord, should I do this?"  As if there was anything to pray about.  My father has told me on numerous occasions that there are some things we do not have to pray over - such as "Lord, should I give 10% to the church?" or "Lord, should I stay in this marriage?"  Uh, yes to all of the above and yes, to mine!  I am 4' 10" and weigh 148.  Yes, you heard me correctly - 148 pounds.  TOO MUCH!  And yet I hesitate to lose weight.  Why?  Because it would mean I would have to exert self control.  Ah, there's the rub. 
So, what is my game plan?  Step 1: Detox my current diet.  I am at the point that I literally do not feel hungry anymore because I eat so often.  To those of you who are not like this you may find this hard to believe.  But for those of you who crave sweets, junk, Dr. Pepper, you know what I mean.  Step 2:  I will gauge my fitness level.  I realized today that it has been three months since I have been to the gym.  Three whole months!  How do I do this?  Why do I pay a monthly fee if I'm not going to take advantage of this wonderful facility?  Step 3:  Post in my journal daily.  This is where you come in.  I will post the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I want to see some measure of success in my life in regards to my weight.
For today - I am feeling apprehensive about this.  I am 31 years old and feel like I have NEVER had control of my weight.  So, how do I succeed now?  What will make the difference this time?  All I want to do right now is take a big swig of the Dr. Pepper I had at lunch as I pull up my granny panties from where my belly has forced them to roll down.  (Lovely mental image, right?)

Everything I Could Ever Hope or Dream For...

We're back and our trip was FANTASTIC!  Numero Uno and I couldn't get over how stress free this vacation was.  Especially considering I have never planned more for a trip or paid more for any other trip.  We had a ball.  It felt almost surreal being there and seeing the smiles, yes, smiles on everyone's faces.
One of the things that made my heart very happy was when all of my family (extended) told me "thank you for all the planning".  I was happy that everyone enjoyed my labor.  Another part that me and my man were shocked about is the fact that not once did our kids have a come apart.  I attribute that largely to scheduled daily down time - it saved us and gave us enough energy to go back out at night. 

We did so much: two days in Magic Kingdom, one day in Animal Kingdom which included a Grand Gathering Safari experience, one day in Hollywood Studios, plus a Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.
I scheduled Tres for the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique as well as took her to meet the princesses.  She loved it!  And I am so thankful for the experiences. 

Some of my friends said they would never take a vacation with extended family; however, in our case the grandparents and cousins were a big help.  Grandparents were great to help watch all the kids and served as our own rider swap while cousins were great playmates! 
I would love to go back again.  Disney does a great job on the details.  From riding wooden ponies around the Whispering Canyon restaurant to audience involvement at the Lion King to eagerness to meet our needs, they know their business.