31 Days of....Motherhood

There's an attraction to number goals for me.  And dare I say it?  I believe for other women as well.  So, here I go on the bandwagon of blogging about a particular topic for 31 days.  Yes, 31.  And yes, I'm aware that I've recently tried to blog for 30 days in a row and failed.  But you know what they say?  "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."  This is me trying again:)
I believe it was on the Imperfect Homemaking sight that I first saw the idea of blogging for 31 days about something I am passionate about.  I have posted the queries of what I am passionate about and in my soul what I am passionate about is Motherhood.  Hands down being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Therefore, for the next 31 days you are going to hear about it.  So there.
In order for me to embark on this 31 day adventure maybe I should reveal to you my introduction into motherhood - all four times (technically five). 
When I married Numero Uno I instantly became a mother (no, not to him - he's a good, mature man).  You see I became a stepmother to a handsomely chubby almost 3 year old.  I have learned over the years that this role is a parent in name only and it has come with its ups and downs but so has my role as mom to my other three.  Having married in September and Uno about to turn 3, Numero Uno said, "Let's have a baby".  This was music to my ears because I had been dreaming of a house full of kids ever since I read Janette Oke's "Love Comes Softly" series and had named all the pencils in my elementary pencil pouch the names of Marty's kids.  I dreamed of being pregnant and bare foot and at home with a perfectly tidy house and seven well mannered children.  Naturally, I thought Numero Uno's dreams consisted of this too:)  Would you believe I got pregnant in November?  Unfortunately I miscarried in December.  I still remember the night I found out.  The trip my parents made from there house to my new, first house.  I remember Numero Uno was on the way home from work.  I remember crying and crying.  I remember such disappointment.  It was dark out and I met Numero Uno on the front walk.  He held me and told me he was sorry.  I guess I didn't realize in those childhood dreams that the road to Mommyhood could be difficult and painful and sad. 
We tried for over a year to get pregnant and finally I had to go see my doctor for some help.  A month later I stared at a pregnancy test in disbelief.  I actually shouted, "Thank you, Lord", laughed, and cried all at the same time.  Due to how dirty Numero Uno's job is, he ALWAYS comes home and goes straight to the shower.  While he was in the shower, I got a jar of pickles and a tub of ice cream.  I was sitting eating both when he came out of the shower.  We just both grinned at each other for the longest time.  I hope I never forget that memory.
Dos made his appearance via C-section and I thought he was the most beautiful child I ever laid eyes on.  No matter that he was wrinkled and pink and dirty with birth stuff all over him.  He was mine.  I discovered the scripture, "For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted me that I have asked of Him"  I Samuel 1:27 and that was exactly how I felt.  Becoming a mother made me feel, and still does, that it is Christmas every single day. 
Tres came into the world kicking and screaming.  She did not stop screaming until they brought her to me.  Please remember this was no quick place the baby on Momma's chest.  I have had all my children via C-section so the doc shows you the baby briefly then you have to stay and get sewn up while they take baby away to the nursery.  She screamed so loud and so long, people in the waiting room could hear her. Man she was drama and still is!  In fact, today, she cried all the way to school because she did not like the pink polka dot rain coat I just bought for her. But I love her to my very core and thank God daily for giving me one, beautiful, precious, thoughtful girl.
Now let me remind you, I thought I was well on my way to having seven kids and the tidy house and the ability to churn butter and be a perfect housewife, etc., etc., etc.  I had no clue that Numero Uno wanted to call it quits on more children.  I was grieved.  Have you had that moment yet in your marriage where you realize you and your man disagree?  I mean, really disagree?  Not on where to go for dinner or what color to paint the bathroom but on where you see your family going?  It was an "Aha" moment for me and a time to grow up.  A time to realize my elementary dreams would not be coming true and truth be told I wasn't keeping my house tidy or churning my own butter. 
Three and a half years passed and many discussions of more children came and went.  Numero Uno and I agreed on one more child somewhere between Tres' second and third birthday.  Again, my body had different plans.  I was sad again as the doctor told me all "my numbers" showed that I had PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and it would be difficult for me to become pregnant.  As God's humor would have it, I discovered I was pregnant one week before our appointment with an infertility specialist. Oh how I took the time to enjoy this last pregnancy.  And that's saying something because I'm not one of those women who "love" being pregnant.  I love the results but not the pregnancy.  But this last time I made myself enjoy it and enjoy it I did.
Quattro made his appearance shortly after Christmas and what a gift!  We purposely did not find out what we were having and as the doctor removed Quattro from my abdomen, Numero Uno got to be the one to announce, "It's a boy!"  What fun. 
This world I live in, the one of Motherhood, I would not trade for ANYTHING.  It has brought me my greatest joys and greatest sorrows.  It has forced me to grow up and it teaches me DAILY.  Daily I find myself asking God for His help, His grace, His forgiveness, His patience, His compassion, His love.  Being a mother, has made me a better person.  How can I ever express my thanks to the One who gave me this gift?