Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again.

What is the matter? I am so annoyed, mad, frustrated, want to be left alone yet want someone to sympathize with me.
So, what brought this on? I am SO glad you asked. Last week I thought I would be proactive about the upcoming holidays since being proactive is one of the Seven Steps of Highly Effective people. My brother lives out of state and my sister's in-laws live out of state so my family (mom, dad,& siblings) rotate when and where we spend holidays. In trying to accommodate the traveling brother who would come to Alabama in November then have to come back in January to celebrate Christmas with us I tried to come up with a happy medium. You know what? The whole family agreed to meet him in Memphis. I text him to tell him the good news and guess what? He backs out saying he can't have anybody resenting him so they're traveling. I look at it as he's rejecting a good thing PLUS he's playing the martyr.

My whole family also has decided to go to Disney next year and since this will be a BIG expense we had mentioned that we would not buy gifts but put money toward the trip. Well who do you suppose does not like that idea? My brother. So finally I told my sis who seems to be the one getting the full truth of how my brother feels about my plans, "Fine, just tell me when and where to show up". Then she tells me I'm being a "butt". So, am I? Am I being ridiculous when I was only trying to plan good things for a smooth sailing holiday time? Well that idea is already shot right out of the gate since in the preparations we're all annoyed with each other . My brother and sis make the point they just want to sit around on the holidays and not do really any activities together. You know what my ideas were? For the kids to make crafts and the family to do a service project. No those ideas I guess will rock the boat too much. Yes, I guess my sis is right. I DO like to plan out what we will do. The idea of 17 people sitting around one house with nothing to do does not appeal to me for how I want to spend my Christmas.

How can I put their needs first? I mean isn't that what I am supposed to do? Does that mean I sit and engage them in conversation since there is nothing else going on? I guess I can do what my brother's idea is and go to a movie which by the way is another added expense. I mean is no one else bothered with the cost of a family of five going to the movies these days?

Like I said, I'm frustrated, annoyed, and mad. Lord, what is the right way to handle this? Because right now I know how the holidays will play out - my brother and sis making fun of me saying "Remember when [me] tried to get our kids to make crafts for Christmas?"