My Happiness

Just reading this title makes me think "Am I being selfish?"  After hearing some close friends discuss this book "The Happiness Project" I am now in the midst of reading it.  It's May so I'm "learning how to have fun".  Who knew I would have to learn?  But after reading the book, I've realised I have systematically removed fun from my life.  Maybe "learn" is not the precise word I'm looking for but "reintroduce" would fit better.  I am a list maker, obviously by the title of this blog and therefore a majority if not all that makes my daily list are tasks that must be accomplished in the course of the day to keep my family going.  Any "frivolous" pursuits never even make the list.  So today, I made a new kind of list titled "Fun Things". 
1.  Walk the dog.
I don't necessarily think "ooh, walking the dog will be fun" but I do get a great sense of enjoyment when I do it.
2. Scrapbook.
As nerdy as it sounds, I really like scrapbooking.  I've just not done it in a long time due to my idea of it will not be done right.  "Done right" to me means everything up to date.  That's just not gonna happen.  My oldest, my stepson's, scrapbook I believe is at his kindergarten year - he will be entering middle school in the fall!  Oh well, I'll jump in where I am.  I will still find fun in this endeavor however old the photos.
3.  Go to a museum.
Aaah, this one has never made any list and you wanna know why?  My man would not go.  Why have I put off something I enjoy because my man is not up for it?  Since when did I think he and I have the same exact likes?  I'll admit I'm scared to go something alone but I believe it will be worth it.  Admittedly it will be a little bit of a pain in the butt arranging childcare but I believe it will be worth it.
4.  Wear dresses daily.
I would love this.  Something about the feel of a dress automatically makes me feel more like a woman and when I feel more like a woman, I'm happy.  Now, will I really wear a dress daily? No but putting this on my list means I will put more of an effort:)  In fact, I bought a new dress Thursday and I love it!  I really love the 50's when women wore dresses just about everyday with a set of pearls.  I need some pearls but honestly, I would feel awkward wearing them.  Do you know a woman who just fits the part of wearing pearls and she does wear them?  I have a friend like that. She just looks the part of "little Miss Betty Homemaker" and she is!  Her house has great little crafts made by her while her children are clothed in clothes made by her.  When she smiles, I swear I see the shiny gleam and hear a "ting" come from her teeth!  Maybe a dress will do all this for me- maybe.
5. Journal
I love it.  Journaling is therapeutic.  As cliche' as that sounds, it's true.  I need it and I can look back and see when my life is frazzled, I have not journaled in a while.  The whole point of this blog was to journal, to get my emotions and life happenings down on a page all the while possibly connecting with others who feel or experience the same.  What has held me back or contributed to long gaps between postings?  Fear.  And stress.  Fear over what will people think of me?  I have tried somewhat to keep a spirit of anonymity for this blog. I do not state my name or my family members names but honestly it wouldn't be hard to figure it out.  So, I keep to safe topics or superficial topics but where does my true happiness come from as related to journaling?  My raw words and emotions on a page.  When I'm mad or even happy and can write freely, I get the most relief. 
I like to read.  I would not call myself an avid reader but I like to read.  And mostly fiction does not often make my list.  It's usually self-help or the story of some one's struggle and success.  Why?  Because I can identify with the author, I can connect.  And I want the same with my journaling.  So where do I draw the line?  What is enough or not enough to put on a blog?  I'm not sure but I am willing to find out.
Five fun things.  Will they bring happiness to my life?  We'll see.  I'm off to see if I can get 1st grade down on a scrapbook page:)